Hi! I know the title may seem over-dramatic, and it probably is. However, I am feeling a little over-dramatic and golf has been essential to me during these past two weeks. I am about to go into my fourth week of school and am mildly surprised I’m still alive! I have way too much homework, don’t know if I’m failing Algebra 1 (who gives a quarterly test and then reveals that you won’t be able to access your grade for two or three weeks?!), and find lunch hour much too loud. The only thing keeping me sane is the golf practice every day.
I’m not saying I don’t like high school. I like almost all my teachers (I’m withholding judgement on one) and know kids in almost every class now. However, it’s stressful for me even under good circumstances. By the time my mom picks me up, I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. It’s really not fair to my mom—she has to listen to me freak out and complain about everything that happened that day.
So, I arrive at the golf course in a bit of a tizzy. I’m usually thinking about how tired I am and how great it would be to go home and go to bed—who cares if it’s 3:30! Only whoops, if I go home I have to do a pile of homework that I have to turn in tomorrow that I don’t want to do. It’s not a fun state of mind. Anyway, I head over to the driving range or putting green (depending on which course we are at), say hello to the coach that is there and any of the kids I’m friends with or know. Then I either hit some balls or figure out how smooth the green is. Once I’m happy with my swing or resigned to it, I’m not angry anymore and both coaches are there. I usually end up chatting with whoever’s standing closest to me while I wait to find out if I’m just practicing or going out to play a few holes. One huge plus to actually being in high school is that I know what people are talking about and can join in more conversations.
For instance, the last practice was at Civitan. When I got there I was depressed and feeling overwhelmed, but all that soon changed. Two other girls and I went out and played nine holes. The quality of our shots was unremarkable, but I think we all really enjoyed playing. I know I did! I like and respect both of my playing companions; they’re both really nice. Playing golf, and especially playing with people I like, takes my mind off whatever I may be obsessing about. Even getting an atrocious score on hole five made me feel better—who cared if I messed up, it’s just a game! By the end of the game, I was so much happier I felt nearly giddy!
If I wasn’t going out and golfing almost every afternoon after school, I’d be miserable. I’d never be able to stop thinking about what I should be getting done, and never what I wanted to get done. I definitely don’t believe that thinking that way is healthy, but it’s part of my nature and really hard for me not to do. Golfing helps me gain perspective because it makes everything else seem far away and unimportant. Also, I can’t feel like I’m wasting my time because it’s a school activity. Anything I chose to do on my own time would make me feel like I could be getting something more “important” done. So, while golf may not be literally saving my life, it’s certainly making it livable.